You are working so hard lately on your side gig and it is causing stress in a relationship. You aren’t spending as much time with them and aren’t pulling your normal weight around the house. Not only are you fighting to keep your side gig alive, but now your fight includes overcoming resentment. Sometimes the tension is so bad you feel like you could cut the air with a knife. Oiy, yeah I’ve been there.
Overcoming Resentment
It is so frustrating because you feel like you are working so hard for your family, and they have the nerve to give you a hard time??? WTF?! And now you’re resentful for their resentment. This feels like a never-ending vicious cycle of misery.
The reality is it doesn’t have to be that way.
Your family might have a valid reason for being resentful. Even if you are working hard in your side hustle for them – do they even know that? Have you sat down with them and told them? Are they involved in the process?
Hard feelings at home make it harder to reach your side gig goals.
If there are hard feelings in your house around how much you are working it doesn’t mean you won’t reach your goals. It just makes it harder and less fun. Who wants to feel stressed and tense in their own house? Yeah, no one.
What is the one reason your side gig is causing stress in your relationship?
They feel neglected. Period.
Their reasoning for feeling neglected can be different. Everyone gives and receives love a little bit differently.
Even if money is their main gripe because your side gig isn’t profitable yet, that leads back to your partner feeling all the financial pressure on their shoulders and like you’re disregarding them.
I know this isn’t your intention. Most people start side gigs to contribute more to their families in the long run.
While money buys choices and can be great, it doesn’t mean anything if your relationships are a dumpster fire.
Getting on the same page reduces stress in a relationship.
When you involve your family in your goal and they get on board it makes it easier for you to do the work. This is because you have removed or seriously reduced feeling guilty for working.
And since your family now feels involved in your goal they become extra supportive and help even more around the house, or in your side gig, so you can focus on other things.
Now everyone gets in bad moods now and then – this system isn’t perfect. But if your family starts to gripe again you can easily remind them what they signed up for and why. This usually gets everyone back on track.
How to negotiate your side gig with your family.
It’s all about give and take. Amanda Johnson, CEO of True to Intention, shared with me something she did with her family to get her book written in 3 weeks and it blew my mind. She called a family meeting and did the following:
“This is my goal in my business (list your side gig goal here) by (insert date here)”.
“Here is what I need from you (list that stuff here) in order to do (insert side gig goal here) by (insert date here).
“Now, what do you need from me?”
Freaking genius! Before I would work extra hours and just expect that my husband knew I was doing this for him.
Did I ask what he needed from me in exchange for me taking away his quality time? Nope.
When I think about it that way, no wonder he was a little resentful.
Since I’ve had that discussion with him, told him exactly what I need, and asked him what he needs, it has made the hugest impact!
Now he encourages me to do what I need to do because he knows why I am doing it and I’m providing him with what he needs too.
Everyone is happy.
Recap
Family is all about compromise and give and take. Sit down with your family and tell them what you need from them in order to achieve your goal in your side gig.
Don’t forget to ask them what they need from you. This is key. When they feel involved in your goal, it increases the support they provide and makes them feel like they achieved something with you. Everybody wins.
Dude, here is what you want to do…
- Schedule a family meeting within the next 24 hours with your spouse and kids (if you have them).
- Tell your family what you need from them in order to accomplish your goals with your side gig.
- Give them an end date so they can see a light at the end of the tunnel.
- Ask your family what they need from you.
- Decide how you will all celebrate once you reach your side gig goal.
- Shake on it, hug on it, make a contract – whatever works for you.
Other articles you will love {because they will help you rock your side gig goals and still love life}…
How To Be Grateful Even When Life Gets Crappy
How To Stop Overcommitting & Reduce Overwhelm
How To Achieve A Balanced Life
Be Willing To Bust Your Ass For What You Want
Take Back Control & Reach Your Goal
Achieve Your Goals With One Simple Question
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