How To Run A Simple Accountability Partner Meeting

What is wrong with this picture?

Focusing on blaming you for the problem – doesn’t fix the problem. What it does do is make you feel insecure and the “coach” hopes that will make you feel like you “need” them even more. Not every guide is like this, but these types of self-proclaimed gurus aggravate me to no end. They don’t deliver results and instead blame you in order to make you even more reliant on them. The goal should be to get you to the point where they aren’t even necessary anymore – but that wouldn’t be good for their pocketbook would it?

From my own observational research with myself and hundreds of clients over the years, guilt and shame significantly decrease productivity. So let’s shift the focus from blame, shame, and guilt over to what may be the root cause of the problem and go from there.

So how do you run your own coaching session with your accountability partner or group?

No judgment zone.

Remove judgment and make sure you and your accountability partner are on the same page.  When asking clarifying questions on why something didn’t get done make sure to reiterate it is no big deal. You are both exploring where a block might be and how to discover workarounds for next time.

Schedule one to two hours for each accountability partner meeting.

Schedule one hour if it is only you and your accountability partner meeting, and two hours for a small group.  Usually, people run out of stuff to talk about at around 10-15 minutes if one person is being coached.  But wait, an hour was scheduled. “Okay let’s hang up and work on what wasn’t finished or the next step for the next 45 minutes and check back in with what happened through text at the end of the session”.

If someone in your group consistently has a ton of questions you can implement a timer for each person – that way everyone gets a chance to express their struggles that week and ask questions they have.  Generally, your goal is to take up a quarter of the allotted time or less with struggles and questions.

Brainstorm workarounds.

Think about ways that your partner could avoid the block that prevented them from achieving their goal this week.  Sometimes fresh eyes on a problem make them easier to solve. For example, if you keep getting interruptions at home when you are trying to write a book or blog, schedule at least a couple hours once a week to work at the library or coffee shop (or a space that works for you).  Some moms who write only do their writing after they put their kids to bed – because then they are distraction free. See what ideas you and your accountability partner can create together.

Use remainder of the time to work on your goal.

Take about a quarter of the allotted time to talk about struggles or ask questions. You can use the rest of the time to get some actual work done. Take advantage of the work high you get from an accountability or mastermind session and use it to be extra productive for 45 minutes.  You would be surprised what you get done in that short amount of time right after one of these meetings.

Case Study.

After writing my own award-winning book at 25 years old my book coach Amanda Johnson (one of the good ones, a genius at organizing words, an awesome human being) invited me to be an accountability partner for her authors – so they could get their books done on time. Being a creative myself I imagined doing accountability sessions with authors would be like herding cats. What I discovered blew my mind and every author Amanda and I worked with finished their book.

One of my accountability clients was writing a book. Her goal was to write one chapter before our scheduled phone session. When we spoke on the phone she said timidly “I didn’t get it done”. I could almost hear her shoulders sinking out of fear for my reaction.

 

Remember, no judgment!

So I said, “First off, I don’t care that you didn’t get it done. Stuff happens. Let’s try and figure out what happened so we can avoid that next time.  Sound good?”

She liked that idea and proceeded to tell me what aided in her writer’s block that week. The kids got sick so she was struggling with taking extra time to take care of them and when she did find a moment to sit down and write – nothing was coming to her and she felt distracted at home. She just starred a blank screen getting even more frustrated. Well, kids get sick, especially when they are exposed to other sick kids in the petri dish known as school. Luckily we know this isn’t going to happen every week so that problem has already taken care of itself.

I asked her if she felt comfortable going to a different space for 2-3 hours a week to write.  Like a coffee shop or a library. She liked that idea and decided Tuesdays worked for her to go to the library and write uninterrupted for 2-3 hours.

She didn’t have any more questions for me and we were only 10 minutes into our session. I suggested we hang up and she starts writing and not stop until the end of our session, texting me with the results. I said “I don’t care if you don’t get any productive writing done, all I care about is that you write the entire time. Even if all you are writing is “I don’t know what to write about” – you write the entire time. Deal?” She agreed.

She texted me 45 minutes later and said she got 4 pages of her chapter done. Next week she told me she met her writing goal and continued to do so until she finished her book 6 months later.  Funny how that works.

Try it for yourself.

You can use accountability sessions for just about any goal or industry. I use book projects as an example because most people think writing a book is an insurmountable task.  The “I don’t even know where to begin” kinda task. But when you see the simple break down and how do-able it became for authors to write their books – imagine what this simple activity can do for even simpler goals?  Or just as complicated projects but in a different industry?

Set up a time to meet and respect the amount of time you scheduled for your session.  Talk about your struggles and questions in the first part of the session. Brainstorm workarounds if any obstacles occurred this week. If there is time left in the appointment, go work on what you didn’t finish, or your next step towards your goal. Report back by text what you did in the remainder of the session. Congratulations, you are on your way to completing your goal at lightning speed.

Have you ever had an accountability partner before?  Who is going to try this method this week?

Did you find this useful?  Don’t keep it a secret.  I would love it if you would share it with a friend, colleague or loved one.  It is the biggest compliment you can give me.